It's almost as if I was trying to get good at editing videos' continuity together...

Don't consider this the start of regular updates. Think of it as me having fun. I was missing the good old days of Sylvan Hollow (before I was mod'd and started to ruin everything u.u;), so I built Java Hill!





And then, I had some wonderful gentlemen go test the lot out for me.



The novelty of a blue-green customer was lost upon Elvish Coffee Server Girl.

The novelty of customers who don't wear clothing, was not.



"Can't I take you anywhere?" Seb managed to mutely growl.

"Whats are you meanings?" Bjorn countered, lost, "You takes me here for coffees."

Seb gave a defeated sigh through his clenched jaw as he replied. "That's because I'd entertained the briefest of notions that you mighta worn pants..."



"Hey," A third party cut into the conversation.



"Pants are highly overrated."



Defeated, Sebastian simply sat at a table with his black coffee. Black as his undead SOUL.



"Why DO you gotta do everything naked? Is this some weird...Swedish thing?"



"Pant is uncomfortable at ALL times. Is naut like havings me's rounds is too bads, yea?"



Considering a passerby outside the window, Sebastian just agreed. It could be worse.



A strange man sat at Wes's table to let him know he thought he was amazing.



Wes asked him to kindly get the hell away.



"ONE BANANA NUT COFFEE FOR YOUR KING!"

Nothing is carved in stone...but writing this isn't fun anymore.

The LuLgacy is on official hiatus.

I have some issues I want to resolve with my game on a tech level so that when I restart it (and it WILL pretty much be a restart), I will have a full neighborhood to play with and not just one or two houses, flesh out the neighborhood I am using to play, and just...generally KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Sorry to everyone who was stalking this...I promise that when I restart this, it will still have all the same characters, unless something else with my game goes screwy.

And the days with Vold and Elise went on, until finally, the stereotypivally blond-haired, light-eyed scandinavian realized he was at the point where he at leased wanted to introduce her to the other key members of his life, for the sake of HER being a part of them; not necessarily because he was at a point where he no longer thought Bjorn one of them may embarrass him to death.

Thus, he went to the only other sentient person living with him who wasn't Bjorn as likely to make the situation awkward.


...don't tell me you were expecting the Monkey King.


Sebastian, keen on the idea of meeting someone new, popularity aspiration Sim that he was, tried to think of a good way to introduce Elise to the rest of the flock.


Though he was inclined towards stupidity and a few other out-and-standing faults, Bjorn really wasn't a BAD person by any means - our standard for "bad person" being something like, eh, secretly cheating on your boyfriend with a lesser primate.

Seb was a Popularity Sim, Vold and Bjorn were both Pleasure Sims...putting two and two together, Seb suggested a party.


Taking Vold's compliments of it being a genius idea straight to heart, Vold went on to call the guests over, and prepare their party hats!


Contradicting the earlier comments of genius, he seemed to see it fit to make these invitations in his underwear.

...


An evening of magic, indeed!


It was somewhat unfortunate that the only other person to show up was Lorna, but even then, the evening was quite a hit!


...with Elise perhaps just showing she simply had an attraction for blondes, brunettes, and any and everything IN BETWEEN.




Lorna seemed happy enough to just beat everyone and make a killing at poker....


...while Bjorn seemed more than happy to whore it up for awesome pictures he was probably about to flood his MySpace/Facebook/livejournal/nude pictures on DeviantArt that he plays off as "stock photos"/other means of whoring it up to the masses with.


Lorna had a long day of attending her salon to do the next day, however (after winning everyone else's money, what better to do than get ready to take everyone else's MORE money?!), so while the party was brief, it was more than enough to integrate Elise into the group.


And seemingly enough to make Sebastian proud that he threw a great party just by sitting there and letting girls take his money.

Everyone else was still present, however, and decided since it was a clear evening for the moment, to move it out to the backyard to either the hot tub or bubble blower; either way, scantily-clad scandal was on he horizon!


Oh, was it ever.

Curiously absent from house breaking-and-entering, Monkey King stopped Elise just as she went to join the boys at pool/tub/bubbleside with a gift to express his adoration. Though unsure of what he was doing there, Elise was happy to return his gift with a kiss.


Cue a dramatic "BUM BUM BAAAAAHHH!!!!!" as Vold suddenly returned to the porch to check up on her; they did have a pretty big house, she could have gotten lost! Even the writer gets lost in that house. But that's mostly due to the game LAGGING. As opposed to Bjorn's reasonings, which are a mixture of intoxication and stupidity.

At least we're honest.


At any rate, assuming that he was just randomly molesting a house guest since he was pretty good at that, Vold was particularly quick to tug MK off Elise.


A sense of impending doom sunk into Vold's stomach as he was abruptly stopped from throwing Monkey King into traffic.


Elise told Monkey King and Vold everything; she'd been seeing both of them. And I was too lazy to write up this dramallamalogue in actual dialogue with the "Oh no!" he said, "How could you?!" and whatever people say in these situations.

At any rate, at least she was honest!


And in the styling of old time movies when women got a slap upside the face when they truly deserved one, so was Vold.

...honestly, don't ask the author her opinion on slapping people. My favorite Turk in FF7 is Tseng because he smacks Aeris upside the face. I'm probably a terrible person who deserves to end up with some totally abusive guy.


Monkey King kind of goes back and forth on his principles of slapping; but mostly the idea he has is you can do anything to anyone else, and he can do anything, but no one can do anything to him.

"HOW DARE YOU! The back of your hand OVER YON FAIR MAIDEN'S FACE DOTH HATH BROKEN?! The Monkey King will dish out retribution and CHALLENGE YON...YOU...! TO A DUEL!"


Vold has no issues with this.


The Monkey King was thus on the receiving end of a brutal beatdown for the next few minutes.


God, it was brutal.


I don't know if there's some way to MEASURE brutality? But on a scale of one to five, this was at least, like...an eight.

MEANWHILE....


"Hey, Sebastians! Whats do you thinks ihs takings Volds ahnd Elise so long...?"

he seemed to pause mid-bubble-hookah inhale, which turned into a prolonged gasp, which caused his next remark to be laden with coughed-up bubbles.

"Do you thinks dey ditched us fohr COUPLINGS times...?!"


Seb wasn't sure he should really dignify that with a response, since it was kind of presumable that, yeah, a couple would ditch the third and fourth wheels to ...be a bicycle. Or a motorcycle? Because..well...four wheels actually made sense. What am I saying?

So at any rate, going into that internal monologue he MAY have dignified it with a response, but lost track of what he was saying. Contact high bubble blowing I guess.


Stalking anxiously around the beating, which continued, Elise stood nervously for a moment, thinking carefully about what to do. Logically she could call the police...but women are not reknowned for being logical. They're like Anti-Spocks. Deciding Vold was a jerk for slapping her, and that Monkey King was, after all, a pitiable soul by her account she did what was logical...BY HER STANDARD.


And she cheered for the Monkey King to fight back.


Perhaps realizing that he was being BOOED in said-fight...Vold quickly lost his enthusiasm for the endeavor.

Shoving him down one more time, he simply stormed off in Bjorn and Seb's direction and began to tell them to make sure the cheating bitch and woman-stealing ape stayed the hell away from the house.


After that, he stormed past the two now-enemies (not that Monkey King wasn't an enemy before by most standards), and went to the bar room to sulk.


Bjorn took it into his hands to convince Sebastian that there was obviously only one way to get Elise out of the house...


"Hey, Elise...look...um..."
"...you probably don't want me to stick around, huh...?" 
"Yeah...well...you seee..."


"WHAT'S THAT THING!"
"?!?!"


"...what thing?" "Keep lookin', toots."


"Umm...the...pool? Is ...there?"


"I honestly..."






"Ha HAAA."


"Take that an'leave, y'whore."

It didn't make her leave immediately like Bjorn assured it would, but he seemed to get a good laugh out of it."


...so did Monkey King, but he hid behind the easel so Elise wouldn't know he laughed.


He made himself a bit more well-known as Elise began to lecture Sebastian on how they were obviously a horrible house full of woman beaters and they obviously deserved to go die.


Monkey King came on to finish the lecture about how Sebastian didn't even deserve to walk in the night as an undead scourge because he was green, and no one wanted green bananas.


Seb just tried to figure out, once again, why some thought him blue, some gray, some green, and wondered if he was more a cyan hue.


He and Monkey King started to debate this, and Elise still seemed unable to control her horrible attraction to all penis-bearing lifeforms.


"Look, chief, y'obviously aren't wanted, here...scram before I shove you and blondie into the gas grill, there, capisce?"

Before Monkey King could demand that Sebastian refer to him by his royal title and not "KAPEESH", obviously some horrible racist slur against monkeys, Elise fled, and he was quick to catch up to her...oddly enough, still on the Stiansen/Bane household porch, where the Monkey King continued to ramble.


"Admittedly, I was at first drawn to Elise by her..assets. As any man to ANY WOMAN!"


"But now, I can see...that you are the one..."


"To be the queen...."


"TO THE KING!"


"RETREAT WITH ME TO MY SHACK-Y PARADISE!"





To be continued....

As we are well aware, things with Vold and Elise are progressing rather well. They share a general fondness and blondness, and more nights than not, Vold was sharing Elise's bed. It wasn't necessarily a lack of TRUST for his roommies that kept Vold from having Elise over at HIS place, so much as a complete awareness of how completely odd it would be to introduce his seemingly normal girlfriend to his respectively insane and brooding cohorts.

And he wasn't even aware of Elise's awkward attraction to his undead roomy...

...or worse, that her phone number had fallen into the hands of another. That phone number turned into an exchange of address, and that soon turned into a rather convenient exchange...


....of men cycling through Elise's front door.


Mona - Elise's step sister and only real friend in town - was well-aware of the man-cycling, but to her defense, it started VERY innocently.


The Monkey King had simply appealed to Elise's better and well-hidden nature; he was a poor creature who lived in a creaky shack, and had a fondness for tacky suits. He rarely had enough to eat - which was obviously a white lie as, well...people were always throwing out half-eaten food, and Monkey King was always digging through their trash to eat it. Admitting to this just seemed to make Elise pity him.


She would have him over and feed him Grilled Cheese sandwiches.


It was talks like these, over said sandwiches, that they exchanged words and opened their souls to one another; Monkey King masterfully making himself out to appear as a world-weary and misunderstood thing, and Elise just happy to have something that seemed to need her to NURTURE it.


Following the path of their soul, their hearts opened to each other.


And the Monkey King filled his stomach.


Thus, it was discovered that Elise had something in common with Monkey King, as well...


She will dance with anyone.

A N Y O N E.


Ugh.


Gross.


Mona was thus caught in the middle of Elise and Vold's home-phone tag. What was she SUPPOSED to do...? The phrase was "bros before hoes" but Elise wasn't her brother, but her SISTER...and she was definitely being a bit of a ho. But she was also Mona's roommate and friend...one white lie lead to another. Mona just told Vold that Elise was "busy"; I mean presumably Elise worked somewhere, too, so she would just dish up excuses, with her conscience gnawing at her all the while.


"THE MONKEY KING MUST KNOW!" He professed, one mid-afternoon post love-makin' session (how's THAT for your classy erotica, eh?! Eh?!), "If there is ANY OTHER ORGANISM for whom...that is to say...you may also be thinking of...?"

Elise paused for a moment, doubt weighing down her shoulders.


Forcing on a smile as sweet as ever, she lied, "Of COURSE not...!"


The Monkey King presumed all was going according to his evil, evil plan.

It continued like this for some time - Vold blissfully unaware of the guilt-ridden glances from Mona, Monkey King blissfully unaware that he was ruining the life of someone who had merely accidentally brought on his scorn by greeting Lorna that distant summer day, Elise somehow miraculously cheating on two men who lived on the same lot, Mona holing herself up in her room and feeling like a horrible, spineless cretin, and Sebastian and Bjorn...


"Sebastians, how longs is dis goings to take...?"
"I have no fuckin' clue. But it's your turn to just sit there and shut up, because the alternative is me being asked to paint you OVER AND OVER again til I agreed out of spite."


"...baut, ihs staurting to gets dark..."
"I'll get it done, don't worry."


"...ihs so borings...."
"I gave you the option of bringing a book with."
"READINGS IS EFVENS MOAR BORINGS! D: "


....well, they'll get us through this drama with their lulz, anyway.

After a fairly rough night, given that it was storming - as always, in Old Argent - it was time for everyone inhabiting the lot to begin their day, anew.


This is apparently how the Monkey King now ENJOYS to start his days.


And Bjorn was, for once, a good boy and did the dishes for the household. Or maybe he lost a bet or otherwise owed something and needed to do them..for...some reason.


Or maybe the deal was, since Bjorn was capable of burning down the house EVEN WHEN MAKING SOMETHING SIMPLE, like cereal, it was just agreed that if he kept the kitchen clean, someone capable of mixing cereal and milk in a bowl sans disaster would feed him.

The trip out front to take out the garbage was, however, NOT without some form of strife, as Bjorn encountered the Monkey King, who seemed intent on blocking Bjorn as a visiting/passing-by Lorna was accosted by two large wolf-breeds.


Intent on not making the last description turn this story into a horrible tale of bestiality, Bjorn just shoved the Monkey King aside and made sure Lorna was all right. It was all, of course, to the great chagrin of the Monkey King, who insisted to Bjorn that "THAT HORRIBLE RED-HEADED WOMAN IS A MENACE! By allowing her to escape the wolves, you are UPSETTING THE CIRCLE OF LIFE! Now the antelopes cannot eat the grass! ...or...or SOMETHING."


"I dount wants to hears it."


"YOU MUST BELIEVE ME! James Earl Jones said it and hence it is AS TRUE AS MY RIGHTFUL PLACE AS HEIR TO THE KINGDOM OF MONKEYS!"


"..." "...please, believe me...? I mean..."


"Your word is as meaningsless as your lifes. Please to go die, nows."


In a normally suicidal move, Monkey King gave Bjorn a small shove, which took the off-guard Swede by surprise.


"YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO THE MONKEY KING IN SUCH A MANNER AS THAT YOU DONKEY!"

The Monkey King's life was spared, as Vold showed up at that moment, and he generally discouraged murder happening in his home. Generally. And Bjorn, possibly a candidate for ADHD, immediately shifted interests from "killing guys" to " :D OH HAI did you get laid?!?!"


A question that was continually brought up, seeing as, if he stayed the night, there was NO OTHER REASON other than sex, mirite?


A master of dealing with Bjorn, and at talking out of situations involving him in general, Vold just mentioned a variety of other topics...


...until Bjorn's short-term memory was virtually powerless to talk about anything but the topic at hand.


It's not actually that hard, and you don't need to be a master of conversation to do it.


I'm sure you can imagine.


Then, his manly hunger caught up with him, and he proceeded to attack the cereal bowl.


"...Bjorn, I'm...pretty sure one of these is Seb's...." "*OM NOM NOMMING!*"


With most of the day's general shenanigans out of the way, it was time to take care of the rest of the house's furnishings, so we didn't end up going weeks unfurnished like we did with the last one.


Even though there was already a TV room, Bjorn thought it prudent that he continue to have his own TV and videogame system in his room.


For someone who seems borderline retarded some days, his room is pretty snazzy.


Vold kept his room pretty simple, in most respects.


Curtained beds are classy.


Seb didn't care what room he got, so he just went for the oblong, oddly shaped one that had a view out into that silo/tower-like portion overlooking the street. It made a nice, natural partition for a section where he could paint...


...and a portion that was more for "living quarters".


...well..."living" is....you know what I mean. SLEEPING quarters...?


He also had a door out onto the balcony..!

And in general, they were all very happy to be living in a house that, for once? Was fully finished.


So happy that they decided to have a POKER PARTY!! Of course, they realized three people at a four-person poker table was kind of...sad? Empty? Either way.


Either way, Bjorn tried to call up someone to have as a fourth person for himself, Vold and Seb's POKAR PARTAY!

With disastrous results.


"THE MONKEY KING THANKS YOU, curiously AQUAMARINE creature, for KINDLY not having your barbarous BRUTE to my left SLAY ME."
"...Bjorn...was there really NO ONE ELSE you could have called instead of THIS guy...?"
"I thinks he changes our speeddials...? Because, I tries to calls Jake, but I gets...DIS guy..."
"...ah, well. At least maybe Vold'll think you're trying to not kill him, for a bit. Speaking of which, when's he - "


"Sorry guys, gotta run - I'm meeting Elise downtown..!"


".....huh." "..."


"....the Monkey King raises you twelve bananas!"
"...you just started dealing, you can't raise y-"
"TWELVE BANANAS."
"I folds."


And then Vold was off to pick up his date...


....and head dooowwwntoooowwwwn! *porno groove music*


And of course, they met at the Chupacabra Bar and Grill!


Vold noted that Mona was there as well. She seemed to want to tell Vold something, but....


...became distracted by this AWESOME GUY in a Beanie.


...he was indescribably awesome, even as he ate a simple salad.


Save for creepy orange tube-top girl in the background, they had yet another perfect dream date.


Perhaps they were a perfecy match because they both paint their fingernails black? Who can say. But Vold was glad that this relationship didn't get awkward after the first night.


Just maybe, he thought, as he took off from the date to head back home and chill, he had found something that could last.



On that sappy note, Elise - sharing thoughts that the relationship was going pretty well for yet another guy who'd just pried his way into her panties on the first date - thought to get Vold something to show her appreciation.


...but seemed oddly ENAMORED with Sebastian as she strode by.


She tried to get his attention, perhaps just for the thrill of being a pretty girl being seen...? But, well, she was on his bad side - as in the side with a white eye, where he couldn't see her.


She admired the flowers she placed on the doorstep she'd found at Edgewood manor, before quickly knocking and rushing off.

Of course...as you might have guessed...this was the wrong door.


With a very shocked inhabitant inside....

Naturally, Vold being blamed in Monkey King's head for the horribly rivalry he now had with Lorna, when Monkey King found a bouquet of flowers with the number for an "Elise" on his doorstep...the very same Elise that had Vold dashing from the house....?


He started to form an evil, evil plan.

Stay tuned........

After being pleased as punch with the low low price of the house (doubly a bargain when you don't know it's haunted with horrible crazy people!), the boys managed to get most of their stuff moved in to the first floor and backyard - they even had the pool renovated so it had steps with which to get out and NOT DROWN. But, most likely with the efforts of Lorna who was just happy to be in their presence without the presence of a certain princely primate, they even managed to furnish the house in a way that complimented the old-fashioned and slightly eerie decor of the manor...!

They had a swank entry room...


Complete with a poker table!


The kitchen was still somewhat gloomy...





...but they were happy to still be able to have a bar for a kitchen table!

They're have simple (and arguably cheap and borderline alcoholic) tastes like that.

Speaking of which, they also still have a pool room that is also dedicated to being an ACTUAL bar!




God I hope they remember to feed those fishies.

There is of course, also a bathroom...!




How exciting.

Adjacent to said bathroom (or maybe the bathroom is technically adjacent to THIS room but I was lazy, posted the bathroom first and was too lazy to go back and change that), is a modest living room with a computer.




It was at about THIS room, that Vold had to take off from the rest of the boys.

Prior arrangements had been made.


Never the less, Seb and Bjorn went on moving things on in. They'd just finished decorating the room with the staircase up before it started to grow dark...



....and they were GOING to upstairs and finish furnishing but...well...even with NO knowledge of the fact that this house was "haunted"...


...that upstairs hallway? It's creepy.

With further furnishing being now not only creepy in the dark upstairs, and also tiring as they'd been at it all day, it was time to crash on the couches yet again.


Seb took the fancy little Victorian couch that was way too short for his lanky, long-limbed form...


And...well...Bjorn...took the leather couch in the TV room that was too narrow for his broad, bodybuilder form.

...huh.


Bjorn is also, apparently, a very arrogant and or self-centered dreamer.


As for those prior arrangements...they'd gone rather well! And those arrangement's name was in fact, a girl named Elise, and a date that went so well he got invited back to her place, which was modest, but shared with just one other girl; Elise's step sister, in fact.


He was a bit weirded out at first that she had basically the same hairstyle as his brother, but she was basically everything else that he DIDN'T have, in that insane household that had been harassed by a monkey, shared with an undead guy and also inhabited the aforementioned shirt-hating brother of his. She was those cute romantic-comedy stereotypes of what guys LIE and say they want; cute, funny, smart and interested in what you have to say.


And she didn't even appear to have a problem with Vold's...erm. Line of work. Yes.


But even GIVEN his "I star in sex films" nature, Vold was trying to keep a level mind about the situation and remember proper "not on the first date" etiquette.


Something that Elise likewise seemed to be dropping by the wayside.


And, then, on one hand, he really did find himself very FOND of this girl!


...and on the other, he also had the option of going back to a home shared by two other guys and perhaps snuggling with one of them on a couch.


Quicker than you could say "I guess I'll doom this potential relationship to potentially be demoted to just a one night stand", Vold took the option to sleep in a bed.


While he was having a ROARING good time, the ghost of Willow decided that she hated Sebastian and was going to raise a big fuss about it, without actually DOING anything.


Save, of course, for waking up Bjorn. That didn't seem to phase him too badly, however, as he just went on with his "how do you even MAKE these weird decisions?" life and went out to the front porch to do Yoga.


Muscular AND flexible?! Mee-OW. >_>


Epic Nazi Saluting Maneuver!


Either taking offense to what seemed to be a Nazi salute or deciding that the concept of beefiness+flexibility=just too hot and thus her responsibility to put out, a passing fire fighter told Bjorn to stop.

Still...that cold feeling that I imagine a sim gets when they're awoken by a complaining ghost kept gnawing at his stomach, and Bjorn decided to just caffeinate himself until it was brighter.


As an artist - a creature that rarely gets to bed on time and enjoys caffeination and other weird potentially detrimental-to-its-health lifestyles - Sebastian was already way ahead of him, and for once, even less clothed.

Sometimes I wonder.


They chatted a little bit, mostly regarding Bjorn's unease; "I just gets dis feelings dat dere maybe...is threats? And nauts de kinds ohf threats dat I can punch outs easy..."


Jaded and pessimistic, Seb still did his best to reassure the still mostly-optimistic realist he found himself contronted with as he leaned one arm on the back of his chair, swirling the espresso it contained loosely as he gestured.

"Listen...in our last house, we lived with a FREAKING INSANE guy who claimed he was a king of MONKEYS. Now that he's gone, probably burnt down in that weird lightning fire, I DOUBT we'll have too much to worry about..."

Oh, but do you, Sebastian...?


....don't you?






Oh goodness! A potential love life for Vold, the return of the Monkey King, Sebastian being generally more naked than Bjorn?! Tune in next update to see what further unoriginal muck the writer tosses in your face.

Also....if you don't like Sims Editing, don't click this following link, but here's a little bonus pic I edited of Seb before he went to bed on that couch.

In the city of Old Argent, one of the oldest known homes is Edgewood Manor - named for its ever-so-original location on the edge of the woods, and being a manor. The past two generations of Argent residents have kept the vividly tragic tale of the manor alive, to the chagrin of the real estate agents trying to sell the place.


A long stable in the family that held its own legacy there, Edgewood Manor was a strong red-brick building, with a fairly spacious and relatively newer backyard and pool. It was with the addition of said pool...that residents claim the manor started its streak of bad luck.


The matriarch of the Edgewood family, Willow, wanted to be the first to take a dip; so much so that she snuck out at night to go swimming. Little did she realize in the dark, that there was a fatal design flaw with the modest brick-lined pool:

No steps out.


She cried as loudly as she could, but her sound-asleep family didn't seem to hear her. She thrashed about and even tried to climb the brick walls surrounding the yard, but all the activity eventually tired the elder out.


Finding her mother dead in the pool the very next morning, so the story says, drove Willow's daughter, Rose, mad.

No one heard from the family for days...until finally, authorities encouraged by worried friends, made their way onto the grounds. From the smell eminating from the living room, and the shed adjacent to the main house, anyone could have guessed what they were going to find.


Rosa Edgewood locked the gardener in the shed, leaving him to die (in his own waste) of starvation - he would have made it, perhaps, had the police cracked the lock two seconds before.


Seeing as the Reaper was just finishing his phone calls. With a hesitant sense of dread, the inquired of the urn in the living room by the fireplace.


The Reaper confirmed their fears, and the cracking of Rosa's sanity.


It was an ugly end for all involved - especially the Reaper, seeing as he got stuck, as usual, doing overtime.

And, as such, the history of Edgewood Manor was established. Some teens still dare one another to stay a night in the house, alone. But it looks as though such a tradition is about to be broken, as a rather desparate group of three is hunting a home to stay in after their own was burnt down in a horrible Lightning storm.


Still, to err on the side of caution, they have been told NOTHING from the housing agents about the dark history of the refurbished home.

And even if they were, quite honestly? They lived through the Monkey King and they have an undead roommate.

What are ghosts to them..?

Well, as you know, we left off with a horrid lightning storm. This was a hazardous free-for-all of Nature against Sim (Sims are anything but natural, just look at some of the stuff they go through), which left in the lot being destroyed. Terribly.

We have no pictures of this event since it basically just translates into "Kayzig's game isn't good enough to run this gigantic fucking house, let's downgrade to something smaller, like nao."

While the three Stiansens look for a new lot to live in, they got by with some help from their friends.


Friends that Monkey King was also glad to mooch off of via..well..


..ohgoddon'tdothat...


EWWWWW!


Finger-licking good by MK standards apparently.


When asked by a passing fellow hobo how it was, Monkey King had one response.


"FAB-U-LOSO!"

Of course this was utterly DISGUSTING by everyone else's standards and they just wished Monkey King would stop.

Sorry for the mini-updates, I don't really have a lot of stuff happening in-game at this time. :B

When we last left off, Monkey King had returned YET AGAIN to the scene of his prior crime...and was now refusing to leave. Vold tried to reason with  him so the situation didn't just end in a brawl (even though Vold WAS still a bit upset that he'd harmed a guest in his house...).

"Listen," Vold began, "Monkey...Guy..."

"MONKEY KING! I am the monkey king, I was the greatest monkey ever, and the other monkeys gathered and agreed to this and made me their king and therefoooore...I AM THE MONKEY KING!"

"...delightful. Look, I'd really like it if you just...left my yard."

"The Monkey King wants your LIQUOR!"

Sebastian intervened.


"We could always just push him in the pool and remove the steps. Just 'til he gets tired."

Vold narrowed his eyes at Seb, as if to offer a silent 'You're not helping', before carrying on trying to reason with the drunken monkey-creature.


"I just think it would be better...what...are you just making daiqairies while I'm talking?"


"STOP that! I'm serious! Hey!"


"...sigh. Look, it's starting to rain...you should probably go home." "YOU DO NOT TELL THE MONKEY KING WHAT TO DO!"


"..Seb, will you just give me a hand here?"

"Hey, I said my plan. You didn't wanna do it. Just let the guy make daiqairies. I could use one after dealing with him. Maybe we could hire him as a bartender, if they're any good."


Vold gave the odd compote of rum, ham and strawberries the monkey king had mixed a nervous glance, before looking back to Sebastian - he had no idea where the ham CAME from.

"Do you really want to drink...that?"

"...let's just move the kitchen shit in, already."

And so...THEY DID!





Feeling rather accomplished with their work on the kitchen, the told Lorna and Edward to help themselves to the pool table, jukebox and indoor bar, while they went on to also move in some stuff for their secondary living room.

However...


Monkey King had snuck into the refrigerator while they were moving it in! And now he had a clear shot at once again talking to Lorna, without the accursed blond, accursed brunette or accursed undead (redundant?) stopping him!


"FEAR NO MORE SWEET LADY! The Monkey King is here to WHISK YOU AWAY IN HIS POWERFUL, HAIRY ARMS, and take you to his loooOoooove shak-"


*SLAP!*


Lorna could only look on with further disgust and unease as the grown..man? ...burst into tears. Why, oh WHY! Did she spurn his advances?


Monkey King had an epiphany - what if...he was just..NOT that attractive...? He whipped out his compact to judge this new matter.


No...it COULDN'T be his lack of Kingly charm! Just look at that slick hairstyle and full, glossy lips! What woman could RESIST him?!


...besides that one, anyway. Lorna fled the scene to try and find a safer room, or maybe help them put stuff in their living room so that it didn't wind up LOOKING like three bachelors decorated it. Her assistance could at least make it balance it out to make it seem like a 21 year old girl with nothing better to do than play Sims 2 and write a dumb blog about it decorated it.

And actually, that living room did turn out rather nice!




Or, at least, that 21 year old girl thought it was nice...


They also had a pretty nice entry room.


But it was then...to add insult to...prior insult...


That all of Monkey King's drinks throughout the day...


...caught up with him.


OH, THE EMBARASSMENT!


He quickly fled the house to take a shower and cleanse himself of THE SHAME.


And perhaps drown his house in the process.

Meanwhile, back in the main house on the lot...

It had been a long day, and Seb finally bid Lorna adieu for the night - she probably had better things to do than crash and burn with them while they moved heavy things around, anyway.


Though she was a little saddened she would not be partaking in the pizza they ordered. But, then again...


...it was kind of more than disgusting when they found THE PUDDLE. The piddle puddle.


At least it was on a tiled floor.

After THAT, especially, those boys earned their pizza.


...a pizza that Seb was so excited about he had to wear more formal-y clothing to get the door apparently.


The pizza was paid for...


...and fangoriously om nom nom nom'd in their living room, far away from the place where THE PUDDLE had been. At least they now had a couch big enough so they all had a place to crash for the evening since...they were lazy...and hadn't gotten furniture for their bedrooms, yet.


The Monkey King, likewise, decided to turn in for the night.


There would have to be PLENTY of other, better ways to get lots of pretty ladies to admire him for the stud he was, after all! Just look at his AMAZING love shack.


After all...it couldn't get any worse!


*CRSH-BOOM!*

And so, we return where our heroes initially left off...pretending to finish furnishing their house, while actually just kinda slacking off and not accomplishing anything.


Case in point: Sebastian and Vold just decided to play Rock/Paper/Scissors in the front yard. And as you can see Vold still hasn't put on any real sort of shirt.


Yes, you would THINK that Sebastian is the one who is taking this a little seriously...

But when the table is turned and suddenly Vold is the one with his scissors crushed beneath a rock...

...well, you get the idea. Sebastian then wandered back into the backyard, where a round of housewarming drinks were being prepared - they felt bad and had invited the Monkey King back, so he thought it may be a good idea if he just kept Bjorn from attacking their primate neighbor.


Vold greeted the new neighbor who showed up to welcome them to Old Argent.

They greet, as all proper men do, with an upwards nod of the head.

"Dude," Edward (I want you to know his full name is Edward Fuchs) began hesitantly, "...why so naked? ._. "

"Nevermind that," Vold retorted, "Play me at rock paper scissors!"


Though he was intent on proving he was still the ultimate power in games that are pure luck...

...it seemed that he was just condemning himself by always picking scissors.

Better luck next time, Vold! Meanwhile, the group back in the main yard are getting their modest celebration under way.

From the opposite side of the crowd, Monkey King noted that the lovely Lorna was now unguarded. As collected as he could pretend to be, he made his way around the opposite side of the bar to attempt to put on his royal monkey moves.


Sebastian was still so preoccupied with keeping his good eye on Bjorn so he didn't KILL anything, that he didn't notice the drama about to unfold in front of him. Lorna was hesitant to make an immediate decision on the creature staring intently at her chest...but, she was used to that, and asking him about his incredibly frightening face must have seemed a bit much. And, who was she to turn down an offer, no matter how oddly worded ("WOULD YOU PLEASE TO BE GIVING THE MONKEY KING THE HONOR OF BESTOWING UPON YOU HUMBLE NON-MONKEY A CHILLED ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE?!"), for a drink?


Well, if she'd known the Monkey King was going to bestow the drink INTO HER FACE then she would have been a very smart person.


Vold noticed the commotion out-right, and it took Bjorn (stubbornly still just hanging out in his athletic wear) a moment to look over his shoulder at the situation. Seb caught on to it a bit quicker than he would have had it been on his right side where his vision was a bit less peripheral.


Of course, getting alcohol in your eyes is a very sting-y process, and the slight tears that followed made her look to be in more distress than she was actually IN.


Offended that someone would harm a woman in his home, Bjorn took a stand. Monkey King needed to defend himself - he thought quickly.


"YOU MISUNDERSTAND! The monkey King has not come here, to make more ENEMIES!" "...he's naut?" "NO! I have fully realized that to you my ways have been GREATLY ERRED. My further apologies for dousing the lady's face in DELICIOUS RUM."

"Will you ACCEPT FROM ME...this HANDSHAKE OF APOLOGY...?" "...wells....oh-kays..!"


"..he he he..." *bzz* "..whauts is so - "


*ZAP!*



A quick notation that if Monkey King didn't leave the premises right then, they would call the authorities later, they decided to move the party indoors, to the one furnished room - conveniently, it was also the other room with a bar!


Sebastian tried his best  to apologize to Lorna for what the Monkey King did; Lorna seemed to take it well, and just admitted if she ever saw the Monkey King again she'd take a hammer to his face. They fell into a more casual conversation rather quickly.


In hindsight, someone looking the way Sebastian does bringing up that topic might be slightly unnerving.


...but Lorna just rolls with the punches.

They then played a quick game of pool!


Turns out Seb is pretty damn good at it.


Seriously. Good thing Lorna didn't bet MONEY against him, or she'd be lookin' even sadder!

It's also good it was just a quick round of billiards, as there was evil afoot in the front yard - evil that had hopped the stone wall and was raiding their poolside bar.


Evil that was making a TERRIFYING FACE.

Come back in just a little while when the writer finishes dinner to see what happens next!!

While bustling around the lot, trying to perfect and add to all the little things to make it 'home', an abrupt decision was made.


This look? It's not working.


There!


Thankfully, he didn't gag or give one of those otherwise annoying tantrums Sims tend to give after they get a makeover that anyone else would see and go "Oh, hey, that IS an improvement!" I don't know about YOU, but it pisses me off.


And what a convenient time for Sebastian to be brushed up and the closest he'll ever look to resembling something you could take home to your mother - an attractive woman is passing by the house as the move-in commences!


Completely aware of the fact that he is no longer needed to move things as his Tiki Love Shack is all set up, Monkey King's delicate Romance Sim senses begin to tingle.

If that sentence doesn't completely disgust you, you should be able to read the rest of this story.


Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Monkey King is racing against time, in a desperate bid to greet the vision of Simly Loveliness.


If he had only gotten a little further, a little faster...


..he may have actually been greeting Lorna Grey instead of Vold, en route from moving truck to rest of house, right now, instead of just desperately waving an arm high over head to attempt to be seen.


He stews over this "defeat" - he briefly considered if it is just another personal failing...


...but decides that Vold, most likely, MALICIOUSLY intended to cock block him. Vold offered him a blissfully unaware nod in passing, which Monkey King only further contributed to a smug and devious mannerism on the blond Swede's part. Wandering into the Stiansen/Bane household's yard, Monkey King barked out a demand for a consoling hug to the first life form that hadn't spurned him for a statuesque blond porn star, and also the first person who didn't RESEMBLE a statuesque blond porn star.


Bjorn was not appreciative of the sentiment/demand, and though he normally was quick to deck strange men who tried to hug him, he couldn't help but pause to ponder...


Oh my gods, ihs dihs thing evens a MAN? Iht look likes complete sidesteps to aull of human efvolushuns! Dihd it just ask me to hugs iht?!


"Whoa, whoa, what? No, just...whats AHRE you? Gets out of our yards..!" "But...the Monkey King is SAD! Offer him a hug so that he is not feeling coldly tossed aside by ALL LIFE!"


Cold-hearted spawn of Satan that he is, Bjorn just told him to get lost before he called animal control. He almost said police or fire department, but he thought animal control looked most applicable.

As the Monkey King wandered away, Bjorn mused if those were actually all just the same number anyway, or not...


the Monkey King returned to his shack to drown his sorrows in his mini-bar.


Also, that gardener Seb called earlier shower up! What speedy service. His name is Jack, and he's already taken the front yard a pretty long way, as we continue to try and stop being lazy and skipping to playing the game so there is a furnished house for the men to live in.

What will happen next time!? Will Kayzig have finally finished furnishing the house? Will Monkey King get to talk to a woman? Will Vold put a shirt on and Bjorn, respectively, some pants?

Tune in next time to find out.

I did these a few days before I decided to make this "story" (or mockery of the concept of stories if you will) into a blog...so pardon any inconsistencies they may have with my future entries!

So, Vold, Bjorn and Seb have moved into an awesome new house on one of those HUGE 5x5 lots.



They had some fun times moving in to this awesome house, funded mostly by Vold who is the only person with an extremely constant flow of income. Because, let's face it, not everyone wants a painting of some chick being cannibalized by demon priestesses or a photo of Bjorn in his underwear. But they DO want to have their pornography - isn't that what the internet is FOR?!

The house is newly acquired and they haven't fully furnished it yet, but...well...okay as idealistic bachelors they have furnished a bar room



Priorities, eh?

Second point of business was to check out the house now that they were moving in.



...but Vold insisted on tickling Seb, first. =| After a bit of shaking his head in sheer distaste, Bjorn got to working out and after...tickling Seb...Vold did, too.





Seb then went to the one furnished room inside the house and went about calling a gardener since that isn't really a big interest of theirs - their talent badges lie in video games and ...I don't know, Binge Drinking. Wouldn't a binge drinking badge be FUN?!



Rest assured, in their peaceful little bachelor lives, binge drinking is the one skill they're always honing. They then continued to just laze around and play pool and hang out, so they could blow off furnishing other important rooms, like the bathroom or kitchen (they have a phone, they can always call for pizza!



They do seem quite happy, though, and that will certainly be the case ten-fold once they have a refridgerator and TV set.

However...theirs is not the only house on the lot. Their would-be idyllistic retreat is marred by one other house, built on the very same 5x5 grid of Sim territory.


As you can see from this horrible shot obviously taken in build or buy mode from the horrible grid on the ground, there is a tiki-themed shack enclosed in a wood-and-brick fencing, housing a host of tropical flora, some outdoor plumbing, a lady bug outpost...and a beach-themed bar.


Save for the feeble overhead awning, we are not quite sure what the resident of this cozy little loveshack does when it rains.

Or worse, snows.


Who IS this creature?

WHAT is he? Will his spoiled-by-the-player neighbors have a heart and let him sleep on their couch when the cold clutches of winter is upon them, or will his odd and selfish nature condemn him to many, many cycles of pneumonia?

Time will certainly tell.